Friday, March 25, 2011

Stumbling

I've been having a very bad week emotionally. I am finding myself falling back into my habit of eating to quell my feelings. Nothing too terribly bad - like Wednesday I had half a cupcake, and Thursday I had a piece of dove chocolate and just now I ate a small candy bar. All together probably no more then 500 extra calories but I have been taking a few *extra* trips to the almond butter jar and eating things like cheese and nuts (which I am only supposed to have in moderation).

I'm really frustrated in myself that I have been so weak this week as to cheat on my non-cheat days. With silly things I don't really need. I'm getting a bit worried about my Monday weigh in now, I really really want to see a loss. I'm afraid of putting a wall up again and quitting just as I was making such progress.

Someone very close to me was diagnosed with a serious illness and I just don't know how to cope, especially since they don't want me to tell anyone else. The thing that scares me most is this week was bad emotionally, but given the circumstances I know the next few weeks are going to be just as bad - if not worse.

I just need to stay strong, and have a good weekend on plan with lots of exercise and remind myself why I decided to lose weight in the first place. Hopefully I can pick myself up and dust myself off before I fall down for good.

6 comments:

  1. Ellie, I am sorry to hear that your someone is not doing well. I will keep you in my thoughts.

    Emotional eating is tough for me as well. I just try and do the best and be aware of what I am doing & stop myself right then!

    Don't worry yourself so much, don't be so hard on yourself either. Just keep you hands off that chocolate !!! lol...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Stay strong Ellie. Maybe it might help take your mind off things for a bit through this tough week if you try your best to stick to your plan.

    We're here for you if you need us :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am so sorry for your friend. You and your friend are in my prayers! Stay strong!! These things happen to the best of us. This week has been horrible, but Next week, a fresh start! Stick to your guns!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hang in there, Ellie. Don't give up. I'm sorry about your friend.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm sorry about your friend, but I'm also sorry that you have no outlet for your own grief regarding this. Holding in a secret such as this one can be very taxing. No wonder you're having a hard time. Thinking of you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm sorry to hear about the news - I think it is really brave to be able to blog about it, and sometimes it helps me when I finally let it out!

    I had a really stressful couple of weeks with work and it really affected my self-worth. I found myself engaging in some of my more unhealthy eating habits, and that made me feel even worse about myself! I'm glad that it didn't seem to affect your weigh-in too much - it always helps me to remember that it takes a LOT of indulging to gain a pound, so slip-ups are just our body's way of saying that they needed a little love. Sometimes that helps to keep from feeling like I should throw in the towel and give up!

    ReplyDelete