New 5/30/11

So my month without a gain: failure... by .2 lbs. DOH!

I can't be too angry, I have to admit I "enjoyed" my holiday weekend. I had a few extra "snacks" that I should have laid off of, and I didn't do any exercise (my norm of an hour of soccer on Sunday was cancelled) and all I can say is I'm glad I didn't undo all of my hard work, even though it feels that way.

May 30 2011 Weight: 152.6lbs (+.2) Body Fat: 29% (-1) Bust: 36" (0) Waist: 29" (+.25) Hips: 39.5" (+.5) Bicep: 11.25" (0) Thigh: 22.5" (0) Calf: 15" (+.5)

Ugh, seeing the numbers laid out like that really makes me regret my decisions. I was doing so well, and was watching the scale bob around 150 all week until I let loose on Friday. I guess it's just really proof that I need to be ever concious of my decisions and I just can't eat like a "normal" person, or I will see it on my hips... literally.

Seeing as I see a decrease in my body fat and increases everywhere else maybe I can cross my fingers and home that its that time of the month and I am just overall bloated, because .2 lb gain wouldn't explain all of those inches. We will just have to see how next week turns out.

Here is my month in review, it was going pretty darn well until today (well yesterday).

	May 2 2011	May 30 2011
Weight:	157.8 lbs	152.6 lbs	(-5.2)
Body Fat:	31 %	29%	(-2)
Bust:	37"	36"	(-1)
Waist:	29.5"	29"	(-.5)
Hips:	39"	39.5"	(+.5)
Bicep:	11.5"	11.25"	(-.25)
Thigh:	22.75"	22.5"	(-.25)
Calf:	14.75"	15"	(+.25)

Although I couldn't sustain a month without a gain, I was able to lose more then 5 lbs this month, so that puts me back on track, and blows last April (gain of .8 lbs) out of the water. Can't really explain the gains in hips and calf, but again hoping that is is just TOM catching up to me, although I have never really seen it before. But I don't want to make any excuses, I just need to keep looking forward and trying new things to melt the fat away.

Check out my overall journey from the beginning of this blog:

	January 1 2011	May 30 2011
Weight:	171.6 lbs	152.6 lbs	(-19)
Body Fat:	36 %	29%	(-7)
Bust:	38.5"	36"	(-2.5)
Waist:	32"	29"	(-3)
Hips:	43"	39.5"	(-3.5)
Bicep:	12.75"	11.25"	(-1.5)
Thigh:	24"	22.5"	(-1.5)
Calf:	15.5"	15"	(-.5)

Unhappy to have to change some of those losses to smaller numbers, seems that I may have gained in the calf and hips, perhaps muscle, perhaps bloat. I can't tell yet, but what I can tell is -19 lbs is pretty spectacular. I am pretty sure that I can look forward to hitting my -20 lbs benchmark this week and I will be super excited for that. I thought I would go ahead and get my hair cut, but I'm sorta thinking I like it longer, so maybe I will just get it colored or styled, or maybe a new outfit.

I will have to decide when I get there.

I have a few big obstacles coming up this month I need to fight with, and I have a few aces in my pocket I want to try and use to keep the numbers moving in the right direction. I will have to explain better in another post but formalities for now.

Weigh In 5/23/2011

May 23 2011 Weight: 152.4lbs (-1.8) Body Fat: 30% (0) Bust: 36" (0) Waist: 28.75" (-.25) Hips: 39" (0) Bicep: 11.25" (-.25) Thigh: 22.5" (-.25) Calf: 14.5" (-.25)

Well my goal of one month with no gain is going well this month. I only have one week left to not gain any weight and I am in the clear! 1.8lbs is a great loss, surely it makes up for last week, and with 5+ lbs lost this month already I feel good that I am back on track with my weight loss goals (despite April's plans to foil me).

150 is getting so close I can taste it - High school skinny! I'm noticing my pants, and shirts from last year are a bit lose and I'd like to celebrate by going shopping, but I don't want to go crazy because hopefully in another month or two my new clothes will be getting lose too.

Plus I had a great NSV the other week. Let me give you some background first - my bf is a very slender guy. He has always been tiny, and eats some of the most unhealthy stuff on earth. I wouldn't even dream of eating some of the things he prepares. But anyways, I have alway had a twinge of self consciousness when I am out in public with him because I assume everyone is looking at me thinking "what is that guy doing with that whale." However the other day, out of curiosity I measured his waist and it was 31 inches, mine is 28.75!!! Now he still weighs at least 17 lbs less then me, but I feel like maybe I can finally lay those negative thoughts to rest. And that is truly something to celebrate.

Lets finish this out strong!

Weigh In 5/16/11

May 16 2011 Weight: 154.2lbs (-.2) Body Fat: 30% (-1) Bust: 36" (0) Waist: 29" (-.25) Hips: 39" (0) Bicep: 11.5" (0) Thigh: 22.75" (0) Calf: 14.75" (0)

Well, not the best week by any means, but I lost 3.4 lbs last week and can understand only a small loss this week. But more importantly it is not a gain, so I am doing good on my goal to have a month without a gain.

I have been weighing in daily, and sometimes multiple times a day. I wanted to get a handle on what the heck my body is doing, and why I am seeing the numbers I am seeing. For instance Friday morning I weighed in at 152.6 which is amazing, but that must have been a downswing because Saturday morning I was back up to 153.6 and Sunday to 155!!! and back to normal on Monday at 154. I really wish I could get a handle on the waves and level them out to only swing a pound or two because these 4 lb swings are really frustrating.

Thanks to everyone for their support on my last post. I just want to be clear that I did not post the picture to brag but only to show how things we thought are impossible are possible with some hard work. To all my friends and readers who covet my "meaty thighs" just remember that I only started my journey at 170lbs, if you keep doing what you are doing you will get to where you want to be before you know it. It has taken me 5 months to lose 15 lbs, slow but steady.

When I first started my journey I had grand plans of losing 20 lbs in one month, but I am slowly learning there is no quick fix to this, and weight loss is an endurance game. Just don't ever give up the race!

NSV

It seems like it has been forever since I made a non-weigh in post. I feel fairly guilty for that, because I don't want to send the message that my journey is all about results. It isn't. To me it is about challenging myself to be a better me. About accepting, and loving the person I am and improving my health, attitude, and general outlook on life.

For the past few weeks I had been struggling with that aspect of my journey. Since I wasn't seeing results on the scale I was convinced I had no results period, and that simply wasn't true. I mean just look at this picture I took a couple of weeks ago.

Yup! Those are my meaty thighs and muscular calfs wearing tights and boots.

I mean if you have ever tried to put on tights and wear them comfortably as an overweight or obese lady you know why they haven't been a part of my wardrobe for the past 6 years. And don't even get me started on the woes of boot shopping with large calfs. I mean started and named my blog after an embarrassing boot shopping experience.

Who would have known, two things that  5 months ago I was almost positive I could never wear - I'm wearing!

Everyday I am gaining confidence in myself and the things I can do. I look in the mirror and smile, I decide to try on clothes even if they might not fit. I feel happier and it gives me great hope for the future and what it will bring. This journey is about so much more then results.

Weigh In 5/9/11

Lets start May out right!

May 9 2011 Weight: 154.4lbs (-3.4) Body Fat: 31% (0) Bust: 36" (-1) Waist: 29.25" (-.25) Hips: 39" (0) Bicep: 11.5" (0) Thigh: 22.75" (0) Calf: 14.75" (0)

(I'm sorry about the quality of this week's picture, the sun was peeking through the window at the exact wrong place and cut off my foot, and my lamp shade snuck into the top left corner, but you can still see most of the important stuff. Including my tan lines from being outside this weekend *woo hoo* it appears I may have gotten a but more sun than anticipated.)


I had been tracking everything this week, food, water, weight, exercise. I was consistently eating anywhere from 1400 to 1700 calories without really trying to count calories (which seems about right for me). I drank about 6 to 8 glasses of water, and had my normal moderate activity level. Other then tracking, I did nothing different from what I did the entire month of April.

And let me just say I am so relieved by this week's weigh in. To see 154 again and for real this time is so great. It makes me proud that even though I couldn't seem to make a loss in April that my hard work paid off, because I didn't do anything different this week and somehow lost 3.4 lbs. I swear my body is so weird the way it works, but at least I know it's working.

I'm getting so close to 150 I can taste it. I cannot wait. I have decided that at 150 I will reward my hard work with a much needed hair cut. I know I blurr it out but if you notice each week the blur gets bigger and bigger (lol). It will be my 20lb loss present to myself. Hopefully I will get it in another week or two. I also cannot really recall the last time I was 150lbs. It had to be some time in high school because I saw one of my old IDs from when I was 16 ( 8 years ago!!!) and my weight said 150. So it will be super fun to be back to my high school weight.

As you can tell I'm on cloud nine this week with my results. I am excited to keep it up this week because I really need a haircut!

Weigh In 5/2/11

Alright, alright. I know I am completely and utterly slacking this week. I should have posted this on Monday. I did take my photos weight and measurements on Monday but I was just too embarrassed to post my results. But someone mentioned last week that the point of my blog was to hold myself accountable so I had to buck up and just post this.

Here is my April review:

May 2 2011 Weight: 157.8lbs (+.2) Body Fat: 31% (0) Bust: 37" (+1) Waist: 29.5" (+.25) Hips: 39" (-.25) Bicep: 11.5" (0) Thigh: 22.75" (0) Calf: 14.75" (-.25)

So I decided to skip my last weigh in, and I have a confession. I weighed in, I just was so sick at what I saw on the scale I couldn't bring myself to go through the ritual of recording and posting such a terrible result. Last week the scale was back up to 158, I couldn't possibly believe it. I mean, it was right after Easter but still, considering earlier that week I saw 154 on the scale (my lowest yet) I was just heartbroken to see that I had gained 4 lbs over a few days. I was hoping that maybe I was just on a swing so I tried to wait it out a week and see if I re-balanced and I didn't. I legitimately gained 4 lbs, and I am embarrassed.

Let's go ahead and wrap April up, because it was a total bust for me and I am ready to move on to bigger and better things in May.

	April 4 2011	May 2 2011
Weight:	157.0 lbs	157.8 lbs	(+.8)
Body Fat:	31 %	31%	(0)
Bust:	36"	37"	(+1)
Waist:	29.25"	29.5"	(+.25)
Hips:	39.5"	39"	(-.5)
Bicep:	11.75"	11.5"	(-.25)
Thigh:	22.75"	22.75"	(0)
Calf:	15"	14.75"	(-.25)

Yup, so there it is. For the entire month of April I lost nothing, in fact I gained weight, and I gained inches. I can even see it in the pictures. Total and complete failure. I have no freaking clue what I did wrong. I followed my diet and I exercised regularly. And all  I see is a gain. How frustrating, it makes me grumpy that I passed on so many desserts and tasty morsels. Makes me think that maybe I could have eaten those things and seen the same result.

But like I said, I promised myself that I would see this through and by golly I will. I need to focus on my successes and not my failures.

Like my overall journey from the beginning of this blog:

	January 1 2011	May 2 2011
Weight:	171.6 lbs	157.8 lbs	(-13.8)
Body Fat:	36 %	31%	(-5)
Bust:	38.5"	37"	(-1.5)
Waist:	32"	29.5"	(-2.5)
Hips:	43"	39"	(-4)
Bicep:	12.75"	11.5"	(-1.25)
Thigh:	24"	22.75"	(-1.25)
Calf:	15.5"	14.75"	(-.75)

Aaaah much better. I can handle that 13.8 lbs lost, minus 5% body fat. I need to use these stats to motivate me to keep at it. My plan has worked so far, and I just hit a terribly bad plateau. I am re-grouping this month. May is my re-charge. These next two weeks I will be recording everything I can, calories, water intake, weight ect. to see if I can find any trends that can help me avoid another month like this.

I also am looking into different diet plans, and exercise plans that may help jump start my body back into weight loss. I'm sorry to any of my viewers who look to me for motivation but please understand that this sort of thing happens to everyone and I am not giving up, nor slacking. I am trying my hardest, and just ran into a terrible month.

Luckily a new one has already started and I'm ready to take it head-on and finally get to the 150 I have been searching for for years now.

Thank you everyone for your support, and suggestions to get me through this. It really helps and makes me so glad that I decided to make my journey public on this blog.