Wednesday, April 27, 2011

No Weigh In

I have been back and fourth with myself over this and have come to the conclusion that I will not have a weigh in this week.

I had a terrible week last week, and I haven't been having a very good month and a half in general (in the way of weight loss). I feel defeated and discouraged and I just can't bring myself to get on the scale. Particularly because on Sunday I disregarded my diet and ate whatever I wanted and I know that the scale will reflect that and I just can't come to terms with it, especially since I am scared to see yet another gain.

I have been on the diet roller coaster for years, losing 10 or so here and there only to gain it back once things got hard. I have hit a plateau and I need to make sure that I push myself through this and not let it stop me. I have made a promise to myself that there is no turning back.

Sorry to anyone who was looking for my update, but my hope is that by skipping this week and weighing in next week perhaps I can focus more on keeping my resolve and sticking this out instead of being even more discouraged by the results on the scale. I sorta just want to skip over the rest of April and start over in May.

Please know that I have not given up, and I am still working my dangest to reach my goals. I just can't take the heart break of seeing another gain on the scale. Hopefully next week will have better news for me.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Weigh In 4/18/2010

So I actually did weight in yesterday. I measured and everything and filled in my chart and then really resisted the urge to post. Nothing can describe how I feel right now other then utter discouragement, I can't even bring myself to take photos this week (why since they will look the same - if not worse - then last week?).

April 182011
Weight: 157.6lbs (+1.6)
Body Fat: 31% (+1)
Bust: 36" (0)
Waist: 29.25" (+.25)
Hips: 39.25" (-.25)
Bicep: 11.5" (0)
Thigh: 22.75" (+.25)
Calf: 15" (0)
*Last weeks pic*

Last week I was chipper because I thought that I was back on track, I was down to 156 and moving in the right direction. And then this week: yet another gain.

I really don't know what is going on. Why am I at this plateau when, I have only lost 15 lbs and I'm still  "overweight" BMI? There really is no explanation. Why is it that what has been working for me for months now is just not working anymore? I have even upped my exercise and no dice. I just don't understand, period.

I need something to knock me over the edge and back on the downward slope. Another week without seeing 155 on the scale will just wreck me. I am already noticing myself falling back into old habits of insulting myself while standing in front of the mirror or finding my progress insufficient.

I don't want to be a downer, but it is just frustrating and heartbreaking. To want something so bad and to work for it, and not get it. Like all of those times I patted myself on the back for choosing a salad for lunch, or refusing to eat "just one piece/bite/taste" or not drinking at happy hour with friends - when I see a gain on the scale I just wish I had do it instead of abstaining so that I could say "well I did have that cupcake" ect. I just can't think of a reason that I am not losing.

I don't even want to think about the horrible, horrible results the scale will bring next weekend. (Weigh in on Monday right after Sunday Easter celebrations).

I'm sorry to all of my followers for the scarcity of my posts recently, but I really hate reporting failure and lately that is all I have had to report. I will try my best to re-set for May. I need a great month to make up for this one.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Weigh In 4/11/10

Wow, where did Monday go? Sorry to anyone who was expecting this post and didn't see it. I guess my Monday just got away from me. But without any further adieu (pics later tonight):

April 112011
Weight: 156.0lbs (-1)
Body Fat: 30% (-1)
Bust: 36" (0)
Waist: 29" (-.25)
Hips: 39.5" (0)
Bicep: 11.5" (-.25)
Thigh: 22.5" (-.25)
Calf: 15" (0)
*Last weeks pic, will update a new one later tonight*

I am back down, to 156 and my measurements are still shrinking, so I know I am still on track. All things considered I am feeling pretty good about this week and my progress, but I do have concerns looming in the back of my mind...

So this is the fourth straight week in a row that I have been hovering between 156 and 157. It's quite frustrating, particularly because I totally jumped on the scale Sunday morning and saw 155, and last Thursday I saw 155. I know, I just know I can get down past this, but its proving so difficult.

It is also frustrating because for the past 4 months I have had a net loss of 1.6 lbs, that is definitely not on track to reach my goals. Slow and steady I know but I'm becoming worried that if it is so difficult for me to lose weight up in the "overweight" BMI range how will I ever manage to do it down past 150?

Side note this past Saturday was the wedding of one of my high school friends, and I got to reunite with a bunch of people from my past who have seen me at my smallest (and a few at my largest) and the general consensus was that I looked great. If that doesn't make me feel like floating I don't know what would. Maybe I will make a longer post about the event later this week.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Weight Loss and Television

Now, I have to admit, I am a huge "weight loss show" junkie. Any show that has anything to do with the contestants losing weight and transforming their bodies - I must watch it. I am like an addict to results, something about seeing someone transform in front of my eyes is like candy to me.

I'm sure most of you have either watched or at least heard of "The Biggest Loser", "Heavy", "I Used to be Fat", "Shedding for the Wedding", "Dance Your @$$ Off" (like 2 years ago now), "Celebrity Fit Club", "Ruby" and even "Dancing with the Stars" (Hello, did you see Kelly Osborne's transformation?!?!). It seems sort of obsessive when I list them out like that.

I just really adore being able to relate to the contestants and be inspired by them. Which is funny because at 185lbs some time 3 years ago I would sit down on the couch and watch the shows while shoveling chips down my gullet or making an entire package of Oreo cookies disappear. Luckily, I am no longer like that, I use the shows for entertainment and encouragement.

Sometimes I wish the shows would focus better on the HOW of it all, I mean 11 seasons into "The Biggest Loser" and the only thing you get from it is to eat Jenny-O Turkey Bacon, Subway and drink Brita water. I suppose you could copy some of the exercises you see the contestants doing, but they aren't really informative to viewers.

Anyways, the whole point of this post was a mini rant, so here goes:

*******************************SPOILER ALERT*******************************

Oh my goodness, last night's episode of The Biggest Loser made me so upset. I felt so bad for Courtney, I really thought she had what it takes to win the entire show, and it has just been really really sad to watch her results dwindle like they had. I was positive that she could lose at least 2 lbs, my heart goes out to her. I know she will finish strong and probably have amazing results to show at the finale but really. It is just disappointing to see her struggle like that.

I know it sounds bad but it almost makes me feel OK about my own struggles, like gaining .2 last week. I mean I was griping about how frustrated I was that my body was so reluctant to give away fat when I am still at least 20 lbs away from a "good weight". She is still in the 200's and has difficulty. But it still makes me angry about the whole stigma that shows, or weight loss experts, and health professionals always preach "Calories in  versus Calories out". It clearly is not as cut and dry as that, and until people realize it and find the REAL equation to fat loss for their own personal body they will continue to have frustrations, just like me, and just like Courtney.

I think one of the things that upset me the most last night was Bret going home. I really liked Bret as a trainer, and really hope that this isn't the end for him. He was just super unlucky with weigh-ins, I don't think he failed at all. In fact at the beginning of the season when everyone was skeptical about getting him as a trainer I said everyone was insane because the trainer doesn't have any magic secrets, any trainer can get you into shape, all they need to do is push you to do better then you think you can (and he certainly did that). I mean Bob and Jillian aren't the masterminds behind every massive weight loss journey in the world - just look at the trainers on "Heavy" and "I Used to be Fat". I would hate to see people think that having the right trainer is the secret, or that Bret is not good at what he does because his contestants couldn't stay in the competition.

****************************END SPOILER ALERT****************************

So I guess my moral of the story is to use the shows as inspiration and motivation. Having a personal trainer is great but it isn't the secret to weight lose. Which also brings me to the point that nutrition is really the biggest and most important part of weight loss. Exercise is important, but without proper nutrition you will never reach your goals. And the most frustrating thing is that it isn't always as simple as "calories in minus calories out". You have to figure out the right formula for your own body to optimize your own weight loss but when you simplify it down to the nuts and bolts of it calories in - calories out is the big picture. Don't get frustrated and discouraged with bad weeks or the tiny details, because as long as you stick to your plan you will eventually get to where you need to be.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Weigh In 4/4/11

April 42011
Weight: 157.0lbs (+.2)
Body Fat: 31% (0)
Bust: 36" (-.5)
Waist: 29.25" (+.25)
Hips: 39.5" (+.25)
Bicep: 11.75" (-.25)
Thigh: 22.75" (0)
Calf: 15" (0)

Well so much for April being my first month without a gain. What a way to start the month huh? Luckily +.2 lbs is a manageable gain, but still frustrating. I think the most frustrating thing is that I am not at a "good" weight for my height so why is my body being so obstinate about giving up the weight. I mean I am eating right and exercising so why can't I lose?

I am a bit disheartened at how slow my progress has been, when I see people who weigh considerably less then me losing much more in a shorter period of time. I thought that losing 2 lbs a week would be a decent goal, but it seems that is just too hasty for my body. It hurts to see the reality of your goals, when you say "150 by April" and watch that goal slowly slip out of reach week by week.

As per usual here is my end of the month/ beginning of the month wrap up to remind myself of how far I have come and to motivate myself to keep on trucking.

February 28 2011
April 4 2011
160.4 lbs
157.0 lbs
Body Fat:
32 %

And my overall journey from the beginning of this blog:

January 1 2011
April 4 2011
171.6 lbs
157.0 lbs
Body Fat:
36 %

3.4lbs for March sucks! I did 7 in February. Hopefully this means April will be another big month for me. *fingers crossed* 

Perhaps it is time I re-evaluate my goals. Shooting for an arbitrary number by an arbitrary date just seems to do more harm for me then good. I'd like to be proud of my progress each week no matter how small, so instead of shooting for a number for April, I want to get through the rest of April and May with no gains. I think that is a better goal for me right now.

But look at that 14.6lbs lost since January! Rounding up to 15lbs and thats 5 lbs a month average for me. Thats not too shabby, I definitely notice the change in my body and particularly in the way my clothing fit. Like my Christmas clothing no longer fit me, I guess this means a new wardrobe for the summer!

The silver lining in all of this is no matter how slow I lose, the point is I am still losing. And that I will eventually get to where I want to and need to be by sticking with my plan and not giving up or letting small slip ups ruin a good week.

Heres to an Awesome April worth of weight loss! 

Friday, April 1, 2011

Wholey Guacamole - Deviled Eggs

I love love love deviled eggs. They are probably one of my favorite holiday/picnic/pot luck foods - so yummy. Well here's a new take on deviled eggs thats a bit more healthy then eggs and mayo. Since avocado has a very creamy and smooth, has a fairly oily texture and a mild flavor it makes a great substitute for mayo on things like sandwiches but why not more?

Guac Deviled Eggs

*Note before you begin. Avocados brown when they are exposed to air, it doesn't ruin the taste but for aesthetics: You should only mix as many as you intend to eat within an 8hr period of time.*

 What you need:

4 Medium/Large Eggs
1 Avocado
1 Lime*Publish Post
Hot sauce of choice (I like chipotle flavored)

*I ran out of limes so I used a lemon. This is less for flavor and more to help prevent the browning of the avocado.

First, hard boil your eggs. Everyone has a different method, I used this one.

Peel your eggs, I find it easiest to do this while they are still warm.

Split your eggs in half lengthwise and remove the yolks.

Save the yolks in a bowl for later.

Cut one avocado into small chunks and mash the chunks with a fork. Squeeze the juice of your lime on top of your avocado mash (to prevent browning) and mix.

Add your avocado chunks to your egg yolks, mix together. If you mash with a fork you will get a chunky texture, for a creamy texture mix in a food processor or with egg beaters.

Add hot sauce, salt and pepper to taste.

Now fill your eggs with your guac/yolk mixture.

I used a pastry bag with an extra large tip, because I like fancy food, but you can use a spoon and dollop it on just the same.

Now doesn't that look fancy!

Douse with additional hot sauce and enjoy!

Serving = 1 egg = 2 halves

1 Egg (78 cal)
1/4 Avocado (69 cal)
Hot sauce (5 cal)

Total = 152 cal

OK - so its not exactly the lowest calorie snack on the face of the earth but it tastes amazing and you can skip the guilt of mayo packed eggs. I'm going to have to experiment with more ways to use avocado - perhaps an avocado egg salad?

(Side note Chubby McGee if you are reading this please send me an invite to your blog, I miss reading all about your adventures, and your successes.)